2/23/2025 - 7th Sunday in Ordinary Time

‘Turning the Other Cheek’, a cheeky suggestion? 

Christ's teaching on 'turning the other cheek' is a profound and often misunderstood concept that challenges our natural inclinations toward retaliation and self-defense. In my frontier missionary life, I have lived among warring tribes, seen brutal violence, shielded hunted down individuals risking personal safety. I visited Rwanda after the genocide and listened to the horrors of that massacre from some survivors. But in all these experiences, I was a sympathetic onlooker carefully avoiding taking sides. On 24 December 2005, violence became a personal tragedy when my companion priest, Fr Philip Valayam aged 46 years, was killed in a car robbery as he was returning from the Christmas Vigil Mass. I was on home leave in India and returned to Kenya for the final farewell before his body would be flown to India for the burial. The following months after this tragedy, ‘turning the other cheek’ teaching of Christ made me cringe as helplessness, anger, sadness and even the temptation to leave were all lumped together into a reaction of quiet silence and passivity. The people around me, especially the staff of the institution, were very concerned about my well-being, health and even the future of all the varied ministries of youth programs and communication projects I was spearheading. 

After two weeks of morbid mourning, it dawned on me that I was devaluing the life of a missionary priest by trying to find people to blame and justifying my inactivity. With the help of some of my close friends, I was able to retrieve the long beam that was used to block the road for car jacking and in a prayerful procession carried that into the grounds of our institution. We made a large cross from that beam and erected a prayer garden in the form of a labyrinth that became a prayer experience. Within a few short months, the Prayer Garden attracted thousands of people and in a book of memories, people expressed their gratitude for the experience. To me personally that became, in real life, the ‘turning of the other cheek’ when my wounds were healed in bringing others to reflect that violence begets violence, unless we allow grace to channel our energies to awareness and healing.  

The Hebrew Bible’s principle of lex talionis, which Jesus quotes: “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” was to establish justice and to curb vengeance. So, if someone knocks out our tooth, we can’t knock out five of theirs in retaliation. In tribal communities an equal measure of revenge stopped amplifying violence. In first-century Palestine, a backhanded slap to the right cheek was not just a physical attack, but a gesture of insult and humiliation. By turning the other cheek, the victim would force the aggressor to either back down or strike with an open palm, which was considered a gesture between equals.

Turning the other cheek requires immense spiritual strength and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in one's relationship with God. It demonstrates that one's dignity is not dependent on human approval or retaliation but comes from a higher source. This act of non-retaliation can be more powerful than physical resistance, as it refuses to let the aggressor dictate the terms of the interaction.

In ancient Israel, taking a poor person’s coat was against the law because the coat often served as a blanket for staying warm at night. While they may not ask for the coat, an uncaring person could find a way around these laws by demanding someone’s shirt as payment. So, Jesus offers a creative response: hand over the shirt and offer the coat as well. But why would a person do that? Wouldn't that leave them exposed? Yes. And that’s the point—Jesus is being provocative here. The goal is to shock everyone by exposing injustice and vulnerability through costly generosity.

In Jesus’ day, Roman soldiers could force any citizen of the empire to carry packs and other gear for them up to one mile—a humiliating and sometimes dangerous experience. (We have a fine example in the story of Simon of Cyrene compelled to carry the cross of Christ on the way to Calvary). Jesus in His teaching asks us to carry that load not just one mile but two. The first mile is required by law, allowing the soldier to treat the carrier like a pack animal, but that second mile is a gift. This is a chance for the person to assert their dignity and humanity in their choice to treat the soldier with generous kindness. Jesus is teaching that this kind of attitude will be what brings long-term healing to the entire world.

Christ's teaching on turning the other cheek, giving up your shirt and walking the extra mile are radical calls to break the cycle of violence and retaliation. It challenges believers to respond to aggression with dignity, love, and spiritual strength. While difficult to practice, this principle has the power to transform relationships and societies by demonstrating a higher way of dealing with conflict and injustice connecting  the ‘humanity’ of every offender with our soul filled with ‘amazing grace.’

Please know as you read this reflection, I have travelled to India for the first anniversary of the death of  my dear mother. Please remember her in your prayers. I will be also visiting the schools in North East of India where I was the Principal some 30-40 years ago and meet with my past students and their families as they plan to launch some new ventures. While they will be fun gatherings, I am sure I will be reminded often how old I have become! I will remind them that I have become wiser too! Be blessed.

Fr Tom Kunnel. C.O.