9/10/2023 - 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time

 A TRUST WALK EXPERIENCE

The training of young adults, teachers, and professionals in leadership, management, media, spirituality, and personal growth has been an additional hat I have worn since my college days and throughout my priestly ministry. Playing a game was a common thread that ran through many of the sessions. A good example can be found right here. One person in each pair was blindfolded while the other guided them to a new location through touch alone (verbal communication was forbidden). The sharing session that followed this Trust Walk exercise was surprising as some were anxious and fearful while others enjoyed the adventure. Our personal lives have many twists and turns and on some turns, we walk quite blind. Today’s Gospel narrative is quite an ‘eye opener’ in bringing light to the dark paths of human relationships.

In a single hour, you can ruin years' worth of hard-earned trust. It hurts to feel used and abused by someone we care about. In today's Gospel, Jesus addresses this issue by asking, "If your brother or sister should commit some wrong against you..." what should you do?

When our hearts are broken by the people we care about, we know that the depth of our love determines the severity of our pain. In this regard, Jesus teaches us a lot. First, we shouldn't dwell on our pain too much because it will eventually heal and teach us something. We don't want to reopen a wound like a scraped knee from a soccer game, so we keep our hands off it while it heals under a healing pad. However, we tend to compound our emotional wounds by brooding over them over and over again, so that eventually we have more pain than the human spirit can bear.

The offended party takes the first step toward healing in Jesus' method of therapy. For some, this may be a strenuous effort. Although maintaining silence is often the safer course of action, this is not always the case. The two parties meet face to face to reconcile their differences.   

A word that springs to mind is dialogue. Having a one-on-one conversation helps maintain respect and decorum.

In this procedure, there is a critical word. It reveals a great deal, if not everything, about the nature of this procedure. The key word here is "listen." Is there a way for the offender and the victim to hear each other out? This eliminates the use of shouting, as well as all forms of judgmental speech and behavior, as well as any attempt to put the other person down. It requires humility and the willingness to admit fault. Humbling oneself to listen and step aside is required. This is probably the most challenging aspect of making amends and mending fences. When we've been wronged, it's common to feel powerless in the face of our anger and the urge to defend ourselves. Jesus' teachings emphasize listening above all else. It also happens to be quite useful. This means I need to listen carefully, not interrupt, and treat the other person with deference. He or she may be guilty, but we allow God to take over the final outcome as He has the best perspective. The difficult task for the offender is to consider the situation from another person's perspective and resist the urge to excuse or deflect blame.

It is everyone's job in the Christian community to mend broken relationships, as Jesus emphasizes in today's gospel. The risen Lord is with them in a powerful way whenever the church works to reconcile its members because they are Christians. The sign of peace at every Eucharist is a powerful gesture of community forgiveness before everyone receives Christ in the Eucharist. At the end of the Gospel narrative today, Jesus gives this advice: "If everything else fails, treat the person who has hurt you as a gentile or tax collector." The idiom "let them go" expresses this sentiment. Do what you can to make things right, but if that fails, release the person and the pain. "Sometimes the victim just has to forgive in order just to live," said South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu. So, the first thing we have to do today is admit that we have flaws that need fixing. That's the only lens through which God's love can be understood. When mending fences with a loved one isn't an option due to their obstinacy, we can take comfort in God's love and use it to piece our lives back together.   Fr Tom Kunnel, C.O.